Grief is Love
Grief is Love: Finding Healing Through Yoga and Mindfulness
Grief is one of the most profound emotions we experience as humans. It’s raw, complex, and often overwhelming. Yet, beneath the sorrow and pain lies something incredibly powerful: love. Grief exists because we cared deeply, and the love we shared doesn’t simply disappear when someone we cherish is gone.
Recently, I lost my aunt, a truly wonderful and remarkable woman who was not just family but a dear friend and guide. Her absence has left an aching void in my life, and yet, as I’ve sat with my grief, I’ve come to understand it as an expression of the immense love we shared. Yoga has been my companion in navigating this realisation, helping me to honour both the loss and the connection that remains.
Through this article, I hope to explore how grief and love intertwine, and how yoga and mindfulness can help us hold space for both.
Grief is Love Unspoken
When we lose someone we love, the bonds we formed with them don’t simply vanish. Those bonds transform, they shift into memories, into longing, and into a deep yearning to connect once more. Grief is the way love adapts to the reality of absence.
For me, losing my aunt has been like losing a piece of my heart. Yet, as I reflect on our relationship, I realise that the tears I shed are because of the love she brought into my life. The ache in my chest is a testament to how much she meant to me.
This understanding has been both comforting and bittersweet. It doesn’t take the pain away, but it allows me to see grief as an extension of love, rather than as something separate or foreign.
Making Space for Grief
It sometimes feels as though there’s little room for grief. We’re expected to “move on” or “stay strong,” as if grief is something to conquer. But grief is not a battle to be won; it’s a process to be lived. Yoga and mindfulness teach us the importance of making space for our emotions, no matter how uncomfortable they may feel.
Through meditation, I’ve learned to sit with my grief instead of pushing it away. At first, this was incredibly difficult. Tears would come, and I’d feel a heaviness that seemed unbearable. But as I allowed myself to simply be, to breathe through the pain and acknowledge it without judgment, I began to notice a subtle shift. The heaviness started to feel less like a burden and more like a presence. It was love, wrapped in sorrow, asking to be seen.
The Body as a Vessel for Grief
Grief is not just an emotional experience; it’s physical. You may feel it as a tightness in your chest, a lump in your throat, or an ache in your body. For me, it showed up sometimes as a deep fatigue and other times as a sense of restlessness. A need to move, to release the energy of loss that seemed to settle in my muscles and bones.
Yoga offers a way to connect with the body during grief. By moving mindfully, we can begin to notice where the pain resides and offer it compassion. For instance, I’ve found that simply placing my hands on my heart or belly during moments of sadness brings a sense of comfort. It’s a way of telling my body, “I’m here for you. It’s okay to feel this.”
This physical connection also reminds us that we are still alive, still breathing, and still capable of experiencing love, even in the face of loss.
The Breath as a Tool for Healing
Grief has a way of stealing our breath. In moments of sadness, our breathing often becomes shallow or erratic, mirroring the turbulence we feel inside. Yoga teaches us to return to the breath as a source of steadiness and calm.
For me, simply sitting in a quiet space and focusing on deep, intentional breaths has been transformative. Each inhale feels like a gentle invitation to take in life, and each exhale like a release of the pain I’ve been carrying. The breath doesn’t erase the grief, but it makes it more manageable, reminding me that I am strong enough to carry it.
Love Transcends Loss
One of the hardest parts of grief is the fear that we might lose our connection to the person we’ve lost. I’ve realised though that love doesn’t vanish, it merely changes form.
My beautiful aunt may no longer be physically present, but her love is woven into the fabric of my life. I see her in the small things. I see her in my family, in a mischievous smile, in pillars of strength, in a favourite song, a piece of advice she gave, or the way she made me laugh. These moments are reminders that love transcends the boundaries of time and space.
Yoga has helped me nurture this ongoing connection. Practices like meditation and mindfulness have taught me to be present with these memories, to honour them without clinging to them. When I think of her now, it’s not always with sadness. Sometimes it’s with gratitude for the love we shared and the ways she continues to shape who I am.
Compassion for Yourself
Grief can feel isolating, and it’s easy to be hard on ourselves when we’re struggling. We might wonder why it’s taking so long to heal, or to start hurting less. But grief has no timeline, and there’s no right or wrong way to navigate it.
Yoga teaches us the importance of self-compassion. Just as we approach a challenging pose with patience and care, we must approach our grief with the same gentleness. On days when I feel particularly heavy, I remind myself that it’s okay to feel this way. Healing isn’t linear, and it’s not about “getting over” the loss but learning to live alongside it.
Honouring Love Through Grief
Ultimately, grief is a testament to love. It’s a reminder of the profound impact someone had on our lives and the ways they helped shape our hearts.
Yoga and mindfulness offer us tools to honour that love. Whether through quiet meditation, journaling, or simply sitting in stillness, we can create moments to connect with the love that remains. We can light a candle, whisper a prayer, or send our gratitude into the universe.
For me, yoga has become a ritual of remembrance. Each time I step onto my mat, I dedicate my practice to my dear aunt. It’s a way of saying, “I love you. I miss you. And you are still a part of me.”
To me, grief and love are different expressions of the same state. We grieve because we love, and that love continues to shape us even after loss. While the pain of losing my aunt is still fresh, yoga has given me the tools to sit with it, to honour it, and to find moments of peace amid the sorrow.
If you’re navigating grief, know that you are not alone. Let your grief remind you of the love that endures, and trust that, in time, the pain will soften, leaving behind the beautiful imprint of the connection you shared.
If you’d like more information on anything yoga please contact me or book here to practise with me in Marlow, Twickenham and online.
With love and light,
Anney xx
